An Integrated Approach to Anxiety Resolution

Here’s an example of how to flow with anxiety, drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and Polyvagal Theory.

Anxiety is like a smoke detector going off in our homes. If the smoke detector goes off, we don’t condemn the home. We also don’t pretend like everything is ok - we take appropriate action.

First we acknowledge that the alarm is blaring. This is anxiety.

Before turning off the alarm, we want to scan our environment and ask I am safe - yes or no?

The answer is almost always yes, I am safe.

If you are unsafe, please do what you can to leave the situation.

Next up, we explore if there is something in the outside world that needs to be changed.

What brought this feeling forward? What truly needs to be done?

Worry will persuade you that there is something you need to be doing, but thoughts make a good servant and a poor leader.

Ask yourself again, is there something in the real world right now that I need to take action on to address? For example, if your tooth hurts you may need to call your dentist. Or if your car is parked on the wrong side of the street on a street sweeping day, it’s probably time to move it.

Then we need to go over and manually turn off the alarm. We need to help our bodies feel that we are actually safe in the present moment.

We can do this by telling ourselves uncomfortable, not dangerous with physical sensations. Or possible, not likely for worries. If you start a sentence with what if, try responding with what is (happening in the present moment) or even I can handle it. I accept and allow this feeling of anxiety is an excellent catchall statement for anxiety of all shapes and sizes. Another expansive statement is I am willing to feel this discomfort so that I can live a more free life.

We can also send a message of safety through our nervous systems through self-soothing and self compassionate statements, such as saying this is a moment of suffering and may I be kind/gentle/loving to myself. You can also try telling yourself this makes sense or other people feel this way too. If unsure about how to respond to anxiety in a loving way, imagine as your most compassionate self how you would comfort a loved one.

Another route towards a felt sense of safety is working with the body. We might place a gentle hand on our hearts, extend our exhale by one second, sway our body from side to side, briefly blow out air through the mouth, or rub our arms and legs in a soothing way. We might also practice orienting, or looking around the room or space, noticing any cues of safety (such as an unblocked exit, lovely things in the space, the outside world, pets, nature), and noticing tiny shifts in your nervous system.

As you start to take in a felt sense of safety, even just a molecule, what shifts inside?

Remember, anxiety is normal, healthy, and safe. Much like a overzealous bodyguard, a barking but loving dog, or a crying and beloved child, anxiety desperately wants to be our protector. While anxiety is our body’s smoke detector, there usually isn’t a fire.

Anxiety also feeds on fear, avoidance, and reassurance seeking. We want to learn to disrupt the anxiety cycle by stepping outside of it. We can do this whenever we let ourselves be with the anxiety, to the best of our capacity, and defuse it with some of the above methods.

The problem is not anxiety - it is responding to this false alarm as if it represents something dangerous, which in turn keeps anxiety going.

You can always create more safety, ease, and freedom in the present moment.

In this moment I have choice and possibility.